top of page
Search

Porn, Cyber Sex & Internet Idols: Part 2

Part 2 of Moral Tea's series on porn and cyber sex.


Is porn actually capable of any good?

Is it life giving or life sucking?

What kind of standard does it set for women?

Is it entertainment or a new drug?


Join Renee and Anna Gray as they continue the conversation on porn and the matter of the heart.

00:00 Renee So the problem is, is how do we, I mean, obviously their cultures were more hidden about it, but we have let the cat out of the bag. How do we stuff that baby back? How do we go back? I don't know. I don't know. I think that even. I mean, the fact that we're not even protecting our children. That is truly heinous. Yeah.

00:33 Anna Gray I don't know. I mean, sometimes I think the good news is history repeats itself. So I, I don't know if going back, I mean, it's possible, but I think it would take an entire generation seeing how inauthentic a lot of this is. And I say that because obviously for my worldview and like our shared worldview, you know, we would expect and hope that most other believers would see in the same way. But I think even non-believers could and should see how inauthentic these postings are and what it's actually saying and how hypocritical it is to the people, like the same people, especially. In the radical feminist movement that the really like progressive radical type feminist movement that's been going on is supposedly anti-objectifying women. Yet the same people who are not wanting to be seen as an object are promoting these same pornographic type acts, but they don't see it as porn. And so I think it's a mindset shift, a cultural shift. I don't, I don't see it being something that happens overnight or anytime soon necessarily. But I do think that things could potentially escalate to where it takes a storm of people saying enough is enough and making changes. You know, I mean, bell bottoms are coming back into style. Okay.

02:11 Renee So since you were seventies, babe, she still has a hang up.

02:15 Anna Gray I mean, we don't go back to secrecy and magazines also though, because think about it. If it's off social, what's it gonna? Yeah. I don't know.

02:23 Renee You said something to me about how the world sees us and you, you were referring to, I think it was when you were in Turkey and how people saw us over there.

02:36 Anna Gray Oh, yes. Hollywood has a lot to do with that and Americanized media. And Hollywood. Yeah. Hollywood. Hollywood, Hollywood. Yeah. So when I was overseas last year, I, it was funny because a lot of people in these foreign countries, like Turkey, they kind of generalize Americans based upon the movies that they've watched, TV shows, because they love American media, you know, and we're the land of entertainment business. So what we produce, they see just like, you know, Americans and what we see on the news and generalize of other cultures and people. So they assume that Christians are all promiscuous, which makes sense. Like I don't, I don't blame them for having these thoughts, just assuming, oh, they probably have succumbed to whoredom. But because we have Instagram on our feeds, is that it? It's not so much, well, maybe Instagram, but it's more so they love American media, movies, TV shows. Oh, I see. So think about it too, even in movies they'll depict, because they assume most people who come from America too are Christian, but Turks do. But, you know, assume they have Christian faith, but then you see the movies and TV shows where you even might have supposedly people depicted as having faith or going to church. Yet you have in these same shows and movies, the completely promiscuous, full-front nudity type lifestyle combined.

04:14 Renee And so that the message is mixed. Yeah.

04:18 Anna Gray And even though it was really an depiction of Hollywood and not all of America, because they're the hotspot and the hub for entertainment, movies, film, everything in the industry or a large portion of it.

04:34 Renee I think, and because it is such a, like, it's like a complete nationwide, actually, like a worldwide phenomenon, I would say, because other cultures are, you know, seeing what we produce and then just having it for Americans. But I think what's interesting that's going on in Hollywood now, there's been a real pulling of the plug. I mean, you know, the cables, we all started pulling cables and now we're considering our streaming apps and who we're going to keep and who we're going to throw away. So it's become a very interesting place and they are, you know, financially hurting right now. The people have, oh yes, they are financially hurting and they, they are feeling the pinch of the American dollar saying, no, no, a lot of that might be people staying home, but I don't think it's. If you read my favorite part on news scrolling is to read the comments and you hear that and there are people out there. There's so many people out there just sick of Hollywood, sick of the content, sick of not having just good movies, you know, that tell good stories. But I mean, I know personally, I don't want to be preached at anymore like that. I mean, they get mad at as Christian people for preaching and yet they're preaching themselves. So I don't.

06:01 Anna Gray Regurgitating the same message in its own ways.

06:04 Renee Well, and so I, I know they're, they're having difficulties and I think a lot of it is the way they have portrayed people and that we have. You know, I guess being normal is boring and so they have to do something differently. I don't know, but I know we're speaking is when you look at the scope of America, it is not Hollywood, you know? And so I think people are speaking to them very deeply. What's it going to take? I mean, do you see that maybe it will take a, I'm unplugging from this. I'm unplugging from that. I'm pulling jumping the ship and jumping the ship. Maybe, you know, I, I don't know. I mean, I do try to keep an eye on my content and what, you know, I watch obviously. Um, but there are still things that will pop up in your, you know, or if you, this is the hardest part. We've all learned. I was even talking to a media person today where is we used to, I remember the first time I Googled angels for the girls.

07:14 Anna Gray I went, Oh, no, it was beyond that.

07:18 Renee It was beyond that. I went, okay, wrong Google. I learned that you have to Google so specifically that it's about them and they were talking images first. And I mean, no, and you don't go to, I never do that, but my Googling is now so specific. I veer from certain words, but the words are always changing, you know? And so it's, I'll say something to my girls and they'll say, mom, you can't say that. I'm like, what? And, and they'll talk to me and I'll look up in the urban, like the new slang, the urban dictionary, the urban dictionary. And I'll read it aloud. I'll say, my goodness, I had no idea that 1828 is all out. And I am stunned. I'm just stunned at how even the appropriation of words is, is, it's slang is, has come in into a different kind of, I mean, I don't know about you, but I remember my, I've had, I've raised like three generation of children and they're half, they're half generations. I remember with my middle, my middle ones, we don't say the word socks. We don't say those word socks in our house. I say the word socks. Yeah. You know, what are some other things, you know, we don't say the word crap, you know, we don't talk. We never say the word balls. No, it's testicles. Even if frostbite is involved. Even if frostbite, that's a different, that's a different story. But, um, yes. What can we, um, yeah, yes. Um, but I was just, I was just wondering our whole world, even my language can become lazy and the way I speak of something. So, I mean, I have to be careful. I have to be really careful, but I don't know if we can put the cat back in the bag without truly pulling some plugs, truly putting, we, I mean, we have to be convicted of it first. That's exactly, that's exactly what I was going to say because it starts with people's conviction of things and also, and what people view as right and wrong, which is the crux of it all. But it's absolute truth. Like what is right? What is wrong? What's wrong with this? Why are you being such a prude? Why can't I do it? And honestly, you can do whatever you want. Um, I mean, that's the truth, you know, that they, people have freedoms to do whatever they want. I think the point is, is to raise the standard for morality and say, this is not, you know, set the standard for kids and say, this is not, um, healthy for you. You know, there's ramifications in so many, so many ways.

10:10 Anna Gray You know, the idea that, you know, teen pregnancy has gone down so low in age is shocking, you know, but that all this plays in, it's all it, it plays together. Well, I think conviction and, but I think what does give me a glimmer of hope is seeing some of the people who've been convicted of. Previous sexual type assault, like who has it mayor Cuomo? Is that it? Who is, no, I forget about that. Oh, okay. Throw it out. Basically these big wig people who were thrown off their throne by people digging up the actual dirt on them and seeing these things that are really corrupt in the system. So I hope that paralleling that people will begin to realize how we're actually being viewed and we're actually doing to ourselves in the damage, you know, be it social media, any outlet and coming to more of a universal truth. Right. Yes. But I don't know, it's, it really does, I think deal more so with one's own conviction. Obviously we have the big hubs who allow us to promote the content like Instagram, porn hub, and just even the influx of television and movies. So I think it would have to be an entire cultural shift and people, people with the same conviction, but actually doing something about it. But I think it starts really small too. I don't think that it has necessarily be just some poof like, you know, big movement, but for men and women, I think literally starting by controlling what you're looking at online, right? Because you can't control necessarily when you're changing channels on the TV or doom scrolling through Netflix or a scene, what immediately pops up, but you can choose to move past it or to stop watching it or do unfollow certain pages. To unfil, you know, to not zoom in and out on your phone. Wanting to pay attention to that. Yes. To actually what you're internalizing too. And to cough, cough, do a, an Instagram spring cleaning to really see who you're looking at and what pages you're following. And I just think it's interesting. My biggest question for people, men and women is like, what does your search engine say about you? What does it say about your fetishes, your habits, things of that nature? I don't know. What do you think? Well, do you think we have any hope for humanity?

13:05 Renee Well, I'm going to throw in a little pitch from my book because I do mention that in my book. And, and this is where I've mentioned it is we, you know, back in the day, it was my journals or papers that I had that I needed to be concerned about that my children, my find. And, and really, honestly, it was just really jerky me thinking I was just wonderful. And my mom was always wrong or my dad was always wrong. So there, there's that. But, you know, you think about it, you think about the pictures that you have back in the day, if you're my age, the photographs that we were taken. Um, but now you, if, if you are actually doing, cause I'm always, you know, me, I'm always talking about a plan for when I exit here and I finally called it something I have now named at the SIA box. So, but the thing is, it's not contained in a box. It is on my computer. It is on my phone. It is on all my media, all this stuff. Um, that technology runs that people need to do the spring cleaning on and, and they need to do a legacy cleaning on it. Um, because I guess your kids can already see it, but let's say technology is, it's not obviously not forever, but let's say technology goes on for who knows until they something new happens. I mean, it is historical now. It acts as a history book. Um, whereas back in the day, you know, only certain people got wrote written up about, or you'd find a family photo, you'd, you know, I don't know about you. I'm lucky if I have three family, really old family photos. Um, but now it's on everything. So your generations, generations, and we're not saying anything that hasn't been said. This is not new. Everybody's heard this. But I do think this is a clarion call to let, we've got to do something. Um, and we need to get rid of that for generations to see, you know, I mean, do you want your great gram child looking at this?

15:25 Anna Gray Do you want your grandchild? Right. As an images of you or yeah. And that fashion.

15:30 Renee Well, but even, even the stuff that you have on your computer, do you really want your children to uncover? Cause this has happened in, um, in a different way, but you know, do you want your children to see what? Hello. Welcome to reality podcast. Um, but do you want your children to find and be the ones who have to go through your laptop or accidentally scroll on what you're looking at? I just don't think it's a legacy you want to leave.

16:02 Anna Gray I think so too. And I think it's interesting to imagine if people could actually see, like if your search engine and every image you've looked at internet or no internet could be visible. What would that say about you too? You know, but I think, okay, one of the biggest questions. And I see this debated and I've debated so many people on this question too, is what actually classifies pornography as pornography? Because some people use the argument that, well, it's just a woman feeling liberated and free. And I think that not all nudity and images are the same. So I'm curious what as a seventies babe now in the 2023 generation, what do you think defines it as? Yeah.

16:54 Renee And Abigail's going to answer this question for us. Grumpy old Abigail. I'm glad that, okay, so we can just move on to the next question. No, this is a, I mean, this goes way back to all the feminist books I read in the seventies. You know, and then you counterculture that with reading the Bible. Where there's that great book of, you know, King Solomon wrote that we all ran to as children because what was it though?

17:25 Anna Gray Your breast or towers of milk? Yes, yes, yes. I mean, that's much more steamy than that. It's a dirty free though for this generation.

17:31 Renee It was a lot of fun reading that in the Bible. I do think there is the objectification. It's the eye of the camera. It is the way it is. I think the lack of intimacy. I think that is what determines pornography. But then again, I mean, you know, I think about that on those remnants books. They were building all sorts of intimacy. But the point is in the end, this is the point behind pornography and marriage and everything else. If that's all you think a relationship is about is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex and your gratification. In the end, there's no one human person that can handle that. And give that to you. Again, you will never be satisfied. And there's no way one person can live up to that. I mean, you could you could do backflips until your 70s. And it's you know, if that's it's still not going to be enough. And I do think it is the outright heart of a person. But again, it is a lack of clothing. It is the positioning of it is the camera. It's the suggestive nature of it. There's just a certain quality to it, but it is hard to define. But it is also very quantifiable in what genres fit under. I mean, I did not know about the Pornhub, but if it's in Pornhub is porn.

19:14 Anna Gray I mean, that's what they're selling, right? Yeah. Videos and photos, videos. It doesn't matter if it's a minor legal adult. You know. So what do you think? Do you think that movies, TV shows, people see pornography, I think, as just still images or only as big like Playboy Pornhub?

19:36 Renee No, I will tell you about movies right now. I told the girls even if it has a redeeming quality. Let me add that. Yeah, that was. That's tricky. That is really, really tricky. But I know I said to the girls less a couple of nights ago, I said, I'm going to watch. Let's just watch a movie. It was Kate and Leopold. Oh, yeah. But it does take the Lord's name in vain. So I don't like it. So I paused that part and skipped over it. But I said, let's watch a movie that I've seen a hundred times in his really good movie just because I know what's in it. And I think that's where I'm going with movies now. I hear that from a lot of people. I'm watching. We're watching Gunsmoke. And we're watching, you know, just an older movie. Just because we know what's in it. I showed you a Philadelphia. Oh, yes. With Kate Hepburn and Catherine Hepburn. That is a great movie. It is a really great and it is there is some, you know, sexual suggestiveness to it. But at the same time, I, I, I just want to go back where it's not, you know, thrown in my face and I have to see it. I don't have to see it. I remember and I still haven't answered your question because I haven't really I wish I had.

21:01 Anna Gray But you are answering my question.

21:02 Renee Well, I this is why I love historicals. So when I watched that, I read the thing on Game of Thrones and I went, boo, yeah. This is going to be my my thing. And then I was and I don't know if I did it out of order. So all I know is the young lady stood up and I thought, OK, cut. You know, they're going to cut away. And I mean, because the deal is, you know, sex has been around for a very long time to hide the fact that there is sex is, you know, stupid. But to show it is a different story. I don't want to see it. I really don't want to see it. And I know they Hollywood or whatever does it for ratings. And people have no problem with it and blah, blah, blah, blah. But I don't want to see it. And I think they discount us people who don't want to see it. That's right. You know, we I want to see the history of it. And so I thought, OK, she's going to cut away and. She drops the robe and the camera stays there. And I went up end of story. And I really, really, I'm going to say the word sucked. That I didn't get to watch this fascinating character thing that people talk about all the time because the characters sound, you know, there is, you know, a lot of interesting characterizations that you hear about on there. And I don't get to watch that because there's so much of it shown.

22:30 Anna Gray And it makes you wonder, too, because what you're saying about the characters and so much of what Hollywood produces nowadays, because you get so attached to the characters, it begins to normalize the stuff to where. And I don't think people realize it all at once, but the things that once would make you kind of wince. Yes. Suddenly, it's completely normal. Like the things we see, no one thinks twice about it.

22:54 Renee Well, I'm sorry. I know I'm going to break some some rules here about Bridger. Bridgerton, Bridger. Oh, my gosh. I thought another time I was freaking Bridger because I love the whole. Hello, Mike. Hello, Joe Rogan's Mike. But I was so excited because I love the whole play, the interplay of, you know, a black young man and a white woman. And I loved all that.

23:26 Anna Gray The acting is so good. And the acting is so good.

23:29 Renee The sets are so beautiful. The creativity is so perfect. And then at one point I went, OK, if I could just get past the orgy scene, you know, it'll be all right. And I was encouraged by my older kids. You just got to get at the end. And I'm like, OK. Beautiful, beautiful people, beautiful people. But really, do I have to see the headboard banging against the wall anymore? And I finally just said no. And I was told you need to watch the end of it. And it was like, no, no, I don't. I don't need to watch that. And there was a nice one, but it was still edgy. It was Sanditon, Sanditon. It was a unfinished Jane Austen movie. All right, book, excuse me. She didn't make movies. But so it but even then that it pushed some of the edges. But it was it was very interesting. And yeah, no, there was some scenes I went, OK, I'm going to have to get past that. I forget in the very beginning. But then it became a lot more. If I'm recalling correctly, and that's part of the problem, it was better. But that's the problem is when they show everything. I don't need to see everything. I really don't. And I don't know if everybody needs to see. I mean, and I'm not saying I don't know if everybody goes, oh, wow, I'm glad I saw that. Right.

24:59 Anna Gray You know, I mean, I'm serious. That like changes your entire course of life because you saw exactly how to give a great orgasm experience.

25:06 Renee No, it was Bridgerton. I was like, come on, guys, Flagstone on your knees. There's nothing good about that logically. And it's cold. It's irrational. I mean, I mean, let's just be logical here. Anatomically logic. I mean, it's just not what pains.

25:22 Anna Gray I think I think it paints unrealistic sexual expectations to. Yes. Like you're going to do something on laser beams and shower sex. That was that Nicholas Sparks. I don't want to be sparring. I don't either, except for this one. Oh, and I was sitting between my parents.

25:38 Renee Okay. Oh my goodness. Oh, that's right. You are a star. You used to have a starring role.

25:42 Anna Gray I had, I was a background artist. We were called extras back in the day, but to make it sound like, oh,

25:48 Renee now you're a background artist. You're a background artist.

25:51 Anna Gray So you actually get paid for this. I got paid for 15 hours and a long jean jumpsuit. So I had high expectations because I'm not like a romance novel type person. I had never read Nicholas Sparks. I had never seen the notebook gasp. I was, I think 17 at this time, 17 or 18. And the movie comes out. So I have these high expectations and I'm sitting between my parents in the theater. I was, yeah, I was a senior in high school and I remember covering my ears and saying, dear God, make it stop. Because there was this scene where they're having shower sex with this laser beam light show. And I'm thinking, how is, how would he not actually slip and fall? Like now they have slip and fall insurance on their set because it was the most, it was an awkward scene to be watching with your parents. But also it makes what I realize. Oh, that's really awkward. Oh, it was so awkward. 17 and sitting between your parents. And it was some. And that wasn't even the worst of worst sex scenes I've ever seen. I mean, it was it was more so very irrational and kind of stupid to me. It was very awkward. But it was more so how unreal, how much more unrealistic can it get than this? Now, years later, I think back on it. But I think that even these shows like Bridgerton and just the utter absolute crap that is regurgitated from Hollywood gives the idea that everything is a fantasy. But I think that's the whole point of it. And that's how it's such a big moneymaker is because a drill or it drives people into this fantasy world and getting hooked onto these shows and the characters to where we don't think twice about. Just the absolute garbage, including pornography that's on our screens. Like if people are. If people are like a full front nudity or even these grotesque sexual scenes, I think that. Would be considered pornography and even what, you know, Webster or urban dictionary would define as it. I know I keep saying, oh, I sound like such a prude and I'm not. I know, I know. I'm not anti.

28:13 Renee Thinking we're prudes. I'm like, wow, I have to have prudes and we're proud of it. I can hear my proud prudes.

28:19 Anna Gray Yeah, we'll be proud prudes. I can hear my troll stalkers, the people who spam my DMS only to shred me to pieces when I post an unpopular opinion.

28:28 Renee Something happened with you when you started posting on Instagram of against all the all this is that the guys were you were having clicks on guys. They were. They were following through. They weren't just looking for eye candy. They were following through on what you were saying.

28:46 Anna Gray Yeah, it's interesting because any time on Instagram, I have any post anything about pornography or have the word sex in it.

28:59 Renee It's gets a lot of, uh, but they were, they were watching hype behind the scenes, but they were watching through to your, your statements. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, I don't know. That's interesting. Yeah.

29:17 Anna Gray Isn't it sad that we have to sit here and say, Oh, I sound like a prude because I'm not anti romance and I don't wear a burka and easy spirits.

29:25 Renee And you want people's love. When you're married, you want to have a great sex life. And I think that's, that's the point behind it. I do know living as someone who is constantly having to please somebody is a very hard thing. And, um, I think this is what we're being set up for. Right.

29:49 Anna Gray Uh, either male or female and, um, feeling almost like a slave to somebody. And just gratified.

29:56 Renee Well, and in other words, I'm not going to be content unless you do blank or it just happens, or, you know, you always look like the Victoria's secrets model. That's such a big burden on you too. That you can't fulfill. It is a unrealistic burden because guess what? Hey, we get pregnant. We get fat, you know, we get saggy. We get saggy. They do, you know, the other side does too, you know, you get older. And I think it's really frustrating that somewhere in this, obviously it's about youth and whatnot, but somewhere, what are the sweetest moments you see in a movie and everybody goes off is when you see the older couple. Right. Yeah. Uh, when you see the older couples together, they've been there a very long time. You know, there's a lot of water under their bridge. They've walked through it, but they are there together and they're in love. Or they're at the very least they're in, in it together and they're best friends. And I think there is maybe the crux of it all is there is no relationship in pornography. There is no chance of being, you know, if you're buying or selling it, you're not someone's, you're not best friends. You know, you're not becoming a relationship.

31:21 Anna Gray It's almost like pouring out an image and then discarding it. And it teaches you, Oh, get what I, whether it's a man or a woman and consuming it, but giving the idea that I can consume this, get the quick fleeting feeling, orgasmic experience, and then discard it. Yeah. And then you crave more, you know, and it's, it's, it's like quick divorce. And what does that set you up for? And infidelity. Yeah. Infidelity 100% believe that if you consume pornography, I don't care if it's sports illustrated, a girl, you know, on Instagram and her bikini thong, you heart or accidentally heart or pages you're following or magazines, like 100% it's infidelity, if it's coming between you and your spouse, you know, even if it's a picture, it's still image or emotion picture. Um, I think that 100% it's infidelity. And I think that it also sets up people who aren't in relationships or marriage for infidelity, you know, because it teaches you well, if who thinks not giving you what you need, you can go to insert whatever free at your fingertips. One click away. So I, it's frustrating on the dating scene too.

32:34 Renee Well, no, I, I, well, that must be hard because it, um, I mean, everybody's been affected by pornography. Oh yeah. I know. I mean, everybody's infected by pornography, not just affected, but infected and that's, that's good. It's interesting. It's almost like being sick.

32:52 Anna Gray Even like you can pass it on to somebody else, not that you can soon born, but you can be affected by it. Even if you don't consume it.

33:00 Renee This is true. And it's like a soul sickness and it's spread out. Yeah. And we don't see it as that. We see it as a freedom.

33:07 Anna Gray Yeah. Freedom, liberation, do as I please. And I think it's not having to take radical responsibility for our own actions to you because we live in a very victimized world where we do as we please. We get as we please. It's very egotistical and it's very much not about serving others. It's a, I think we live in a very self gratifying culture where we think that our feelings and everything revolves purely around us. And we don't like the weight of responsibility for our actions and for damage that we've caused, you know, or even for who we're becoming, we blame the world, other things, and even rationalize it. And I think it, I think it can be the same instance and pornography and especially for not taking responsibility for what we're posting, what we're

33:55 Renee consuming and just the very flippant attitude I see. Well, I think it's important. And I'm going to speak as somebody who was an alcoholic for 25 years. This is an addiction. I think we need to see it. I mean, I can also say there's plenty of things I can be addicted to, such as new scrolling at night. I have to put the phone down. The little rectangle rules our world. And it's a sad thing. It's a sad thing. So putting it down, let's come up some tips, like put it down, put it to rest, cut it off and see if you can tolerate a day without it. And if you can't, then you are addicted or, you know, or if at the very least. Weed it out and try to change what should be your delight. You know, I think if anything, use this as a wake up call to think about the stuff that you put before your eyes, because it does. And no matter what, remember that you is never just you. There's some other people who are going to either benefit, not benefit joke, be harmed by it, or they're going to see it, or they're going to hear it. They're going to hear the angst in your voice or the anger that you've. You've looked at this again, the, the behavioral aspects that just grow from. Having an addiction such as this. I mean, so speak to that a little bit. What are some other tips you would encourage just people to try to see

35:37 Anna Gray to appreciate beauty, because I mean, I can't say I haven't been addicted to pornography, so I don't know if I can speak to that directly, but I would say that because. With pornography, there's there's nothing about it that's appreciating the beauty of somebody. It's not drawing beauty. It's. You know, it all has to do with taking, yeah, taking sexual gratification and for the other person, because there's nothing wrong with admiring and appreciating somebody or how somebody looks, but it's where your mind goes with that. Like it's not abnormal for a man to notice a beautiful woman, a woman to notice a beautiful or handsome man, you know, but it's if your mind, I think it's where your mind takes it from there. Are you curious about them as a person? Are you just admiring and appreciating their beauty or are you trying to gain something from it? Do you see them as their body part? Are you thinking to, Oh, what would it, what would they be like in bed? What could I do to them? How can I, and I think, how can I use them? Yeah.

36:46 Renee I'm like, um, jujitsu since I said a long time ago when I used to take that, he says, um, if you're married, you look once and that's it. Oof. Because I mean, you, you, you can't go through life without looking at somebody. Like you're walking by in the street, you just look at somebody say hi, but you look once and then that's it. Right. Right. Because if you look twice, you. Right. Right. Because if you look twice, you.

37:13 Anna Gray When I think with our era now, it's so easy because you can constantly go back and people have like a shrine of images so you can zoom in and out. And so it's this constant fixation. And that's why I think appreciating things of beauty, at least for myself, I know when I've, and this is going to sound like a really weird parallel because I've not been addicted to pornography, but I have. Dealt with some lows in my own mental health to where I feel like I've just been in this racetrack of intruder thoughts with zero exit, especially last year, but what I realized is that when I was actively finding beauty, appreciating beauty, you know, and it doesn't have to be an art gallery. It could be, you know, but finding things of beauty music, that's life giving things that have a redeeming quality to them. Um, even looking up at the sky, not to sound cliche, but truly like people think you have to go far to admire, find beauty, something that's like, you could look up at the, look at the sunrise, look at the clouds in the sky. You know, beauty can be found in almost anything in life. I think it's not just something that's a visual representation of that, but it can give me the sound of it, like music. And I think that for me, um, that was something that the more I focused on. Beauty and things that were life giving or made me feel alive, things that had purpose, if that makes sense, like my soul felt so on fire for that. And I felt almost like that was occupying my time that the intrusive thoughts and just some of the lowest of lows and darker, you know, season I was going through, it helped to counter that. So it sounds like a really weird parallel, but I would encourage people, you know, to find beauty and pornography.

39:17 Renee I don't think anyone's going to look at that and say, Oh, that's finding beauty. But I think it's interesting. Um, because basically what you're saying is you're taking captive thoughts. Yes. Yeah. You're taking captive negative thoughts and saying, I'm going to replace them. You're renewing your mind and putting in new thoughts. Oh yeah. I remember from an old Beth Moore study, she said something about re wallpaper your mind. Yeah. And I think that's what we need to do is we have to say, and it is a, it is a practice, it is a daily walk. Um, and you just gotta keep going forward because the further you go, um, the better life gets and the more you see beauty and the more you respect people and see and treat people in a relationship instead. I mean, we know that ballroom and we're going to wrap this up, but we know ballroom dancing has, um, taught us how to really, and I'm in my 60, my six, my sixtieth decade, my 66th decade. And you're in your second. Um, but we didn't know, we didn't know what to do with half the population. We didn't know. Right. And so it was interesting for us to go into the ballroom and realize you can treat a man with a respectful attitude or he can treat you in a respectful attitude and you can dance. You can literally dance and it just be so very neutral, but so much joy.

40:51 Anna Gray Yes. Yes. Do you feel beautiful when you dance too? Do you find beauty in dancing?

40:55 Renee I do find beauty in dancing. I don't know. I know. I actually, I just feel so much joy. I just, I walk in there and I just feel so much joy, uh, you know, even on a bad day.

41:07 Anna Gray So it that's interesting you say that too, because I think finding joy in other things too is important because I don't think when you really get down to it, anyone, I don't think anyone would say, I find joy in pornography. I think it would say more so perhaps maybe it's a facade of joy. It's a fetish, but is that really joy? You know, it's a quick fix. It's right.

41:30 Renee That is, I think maybe that's a very interesting thought. That is it. We don't find joy in that. The, I did not find joy in my addictions. Right. You know, you feel the quick high, you know, my addiction to alcohol, it was a quick high, it was quick fix and then reality is still the same. So I love that. So you do not find joy in these things. Anyways, so we're going to end the day asking you what the moral tea is. And I think you just said it. I think you just said the moral tea about it. Our moral tea. Thoughts. The moral tea is in the end, it is about finding beauty and joy and it is not found in pornography. Do you think that's it?

42:16 Anna Gray But I was waiting for you to say that my friend is like, how do I set this up? Um, yeah, I agree. Okay. That's it.

42:25 Renee That's it. We talked about, bye. We're done. Okay. Bye.

Depression, Anxiety & Reality Brutality: Part 2

00:00 Anna Gray I think that people should be guarded and err on the side of their convictions. Have maybe even their own crisis plan written out, which like literally down to their own literally like

Depression, Anxiety & Reality Brutality: Part 1

How do we navigate depression and anxiety when they interrupt as unwanted visitors? We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can control how we move forward. The multi-gen duo gets personal

Porn, Cyber Sex & Internet Idols: Part 1

The world might have moved beyond the era of stashing away magazines, but it has not moved beyond the secret life formed by pornography. Is porn actually capable of any good? Is it life giving or life

Comments


bottom of page